Mark Drolette

Relationships can be (with) strange birds

By Mark Drolette

I moved to Costa Rica in April. Save for kitchen cabinets, my new house near San Ramón was empty. With a ten-minute walk to the bus stop followed by a twenty-minute ride into town (I haven’t a car), I was soon overwhelmed trying to put a home together from scratch. Not having Internet service or a phone magnified my sense of isolation.

Cleary, making friends would help. Unfortunately, I am not naturally outgoing. I call this being “introverted.” Others call it being “stuck up.” I prefer the former. But whatever the label, this dratted innate trait was not going to make it any easier for me to adjust here. It wasn’t long before I was craving intellectual stimulation, acceptance, laughter, warmth and gossiping mercilessly about those unfortunate enough not to be present. (I never claimed I was well.)

Enter the winged one…

I’ll write. All right?

By Mark Drolette

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.

-- Leonard Cohen, “Anthem”

I’d sit in front of the TV for hours, welded to my recliner, mindlessly clicking through channels. My then-wife occupied the couch, reading. Yes, it was quite the life.

I’ll bet there’s just the slightest hint of burned flesh

By Mark Drolette

Before leaving the States (in April), I spotted the following bumper sticker on a big 4x4 (what else?):

“FREEDOM HAS A TASTE THOSE WHO HAVEN’T FOUGHT FOR IT WILL NEVER KNOW.”

I had to guess:

Butterscotch? Chocolate? Banana? (My favorite! Gimme two scoops of freedom, please, with liberal -- sorry -- lots of sprinkles.)

OK, so maybe the guy knows better, considering his he-man vehicle also sported military insignia and here I was, a lowly peace lover who, really, should have been thankful just to occupy the same world he and his military kin have helped make safe for, you know, virulent anti-Americanism.

Concrete words, sure, but -- what do they say?

By Mark Drolette

You know, I almost hate to admit this, but until I saw the inscription on the walkway telling me “DO NOT OPEN NOTHING HERE,” the thought of opening anything, let alone nothing, had not occurred to me. Especially in this particular place for, as far as I could tell, nothing could be opened here. (In which case, I guess, it all made sense. Sort of.)

There’s no party in these politics

By Mark Drolette

(written shortly before I left America on April 7)

Our twenty-four-year friendship was forged in firewater: we’d gotten sober together, supporting each other countless times. We hadn’t gotten drunk since. Our bond was ironclad.

Then: politics. Snap!

Leaving the States ain't as easy as it looks

By Mark Drolette

Passing rice fields and orchards on my way out of Sacramento, I flashed back to five years prior when my then-wife and I were traveling that same stretch of I-5, right around the time Bush attacked Iraq. Our impossible-to-miss bumper sticker, its big, black letters set against a screaming yellow background, proclaimed: "NO WAR ON IRAQ."

We were stared at. We were flipped off. Some yahoo leaning out his window spat at us something unintelligible but assuredly inane. (You know, sorta like what you’d hear at a Bush press conference.)

Make 'em pay. It's the American way!

By Mark Drolette

Spot the absurdness:

"Bush Commutes Libby’s Prison Sentence" (Washington Post, July 3, 2007).

"Weed Eater thief gets 28 years to life" (Sacramento Bee, February 5, 2008).

Got it? Yep, that’s right: Why should the Weed Eater guy have any chance of parole?

Homegrown terrorism: Keeping your eye on others isn’t sneaky -- it’s patriotic!

By Mark Drolette

Well, it’s about time.

Sometime in the near future (if we're lucky), the Senate will pass the long-needed "Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act" (VRHTPA). Happily, the bill breezed through the House on a 404-06 vote and, once it clears Congress’ upper chamber, will be signed into law by our brave president. (No, not Dick Cheney; the other guy.)

Vital to national security, VRHTPA will help eliminate terrorism from fomenting here in our hollowed homeland. How? By stopping domestic evil-doers right where terrorism begins: in the mind.

Sex good, violence bad

By Mark Drolette

CAUTION: The following paragraph possesses a high "ick" factor. Proceed at your own risk.

Here goes: Can you imagine George W. Bush and Dick Cheney having sex? (I warned you.) No, silly, not with each other. Not that there would be anything wrong with that. Which, really, is my whole point: If those two and their fellow war-loving imperialists spent more (any) time screwing, the less time they’d have to screw (with) everyone else.

Sacramento, you've never been better. See ya!

By Mark Drolette

Having been a Sacramentan for 42 years, I've seen the old hometown undergo a change or two. Raised in Land Park and then afterward spending much of my (alleged) adult life in Curtis Park, I've been a downtown resident since March 2005, four easy blocks from work.